Monday, June 17, 2013

Dreams of Scary Thoughts

So last night I had like multiple dreams like ALOT being I did sleep for like 13 1/2 hrs. Anyways, I remember the first dream very well. It was very vivid but like all dreams I am unable to remember the origin of the chase and many important details to the plot. So it was my two friends, Ashley and Selina, and I running furiously away from SWAT and the cops. We started off at school and ended up running and climbing through houses and over fences.. a lot of fences. Then somehow we ended up in a room of a second story building shooting some guy but there was some guy in the room saying he would take the blame. But for some strange reason we, stupidly, decided  to double back a different path to end up back at the school to run the other direction. Half way back we see SWAT searching one of the buildings we crawled through. One of them saw us hiding in a gathering of small trees, so points at us and starts to head towards us. Then the most confusing part, we just act casual and start walking towards them like no big deal. That is where that one dream ends. That is were I woke up and decided to go back to sleep for a couple more hours of sleep. This dream was supposedly the beginning to the other dream. I was in a medium sized square classroom; it was stuffy with no outside light shining through the windows being they are covered with dark curtains. I was standing at the door but then realized I had no idea of what desk was mine, like I completely forgot. So I saw an empty desk in the middle of the room and decided to sit there but oddly there was no desks in front or behind that desk. Then something happened that I am unable to recollect but their was a male teacher that I was talking to about something. Then it randomly switched to a female teacher that I had so much anger for, even though I have no idea why. I punched her so hard in the face that she flew backwards. Once she was on the ground, I started to kick her repeatedly in the stomach and face. At that moment, I began to run; run like I was about to die but technically I was running away from cops- AGAIN. So then I ended up doing the same route as before but there was no killing a man or turning back, but instead we crossed a large street to another large gathering of trees. This is were I was hiding for like hours. But this is where it got weird. I was no longer with Selina or Ashley I was by myself. I then get surrounded by cops and get arrested, but they then go through everything I have and take my blades and I start bursting into tears, even though in reality I can always get more, and they claim they are going to tell my parents. So as they walk me back to the school my sister and mother are outside crying and asking why and it just unnerved me a little. Then I am told I am going into the Psych Ward for being a hazard to myself when they see my scars on my arms. Weirdly though I have the choice on which room I want. I can have the simple room with just a bedroom and kitchen or have the deluxe version with a dining room and a larger bathroom. Strange Right? Then my last dream- the worst- was really short, it was like a redo of the ending of the last story. The cops surrounded me and I held a gun to my head saying that if they came any closer I would shoot. I kept thinking in my head that they should have shot me in the arm so I would drop the gun but I did not want to put down my gun. My mother then came out  and tried to reason with me and I said no way in hell am I putting down my gun. Then my father walked out and I broke down crying showing that even though I do not really get along with my father that much I still love him a lot more than my mother because he at least will plan dates on days he doesn't see us. My mother loves to plan dates ON the days she sees us. Then that scenario plays itself over again but this time I hung myself from a random tree sticking up in an empty field. Honestly, I believe that my suicidal tendencies are starting to take over my sub-conscience. I am kind of worried yet still not enough to get help or seek attention. The End of my creepy thought.

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